You don't have a soulmate

I always believed there was no perfect match. "There is no such thing as a soulmate."

When we were younger, fairytales led us to believe we were supposed to find our own Prince or Princess Charming. And then life happened and life was nothing like a fairytale. I can't describe how frustrated I was when I realized I may never find my own. At some point, after realizing people were meant to drain each other, every happy relationship struck me as odd. They all ended up being miserable and hurt. So what was the point in giving it a try?

Disclaimer: I'm no expert when it comes to love. And I take no responsibility for the actions of others. I won't be giving any relationship advice over here. I repeat: This is NOT relationship advice. In this post, I'm referring to mature adults who respect one another and aren't abusive towards themselves and/or others. Also referring to monogamous couples.

What is a soulmate?

A soulmate is a person ideally suited to another. This expectation is unrealistic for it means that there is one person that suits you fully. At 100%. Until recently, this term referred to a romantic partner. However, as people are becoming less oppressed in their relationships and get to leave the partners they once thought were their soulmates, we have a more realistic vision of what a soulmate might look like in reality. It could be a best friend, for instance. I'm not suggesting that friends make perfect lovers, because they don't in most cases. I'm just saying that a soulmate can be someone you're not romantically involved with.

You don't have a soulmate

Assuming you have made the choice to be with someone because there are mutual feelings of love, respect and gratitude, I believe that's more than enough to call a long-term partner a soulmate, if you will (I won't).

A soulmate is not one that agrees with you in everything. Although having the same tastes in music, movies, food is a bonus in a relationship, it is not one to build a foundation upon. A deep meaningful relationship is formed when you still love the person you're with even though they sleep with their socks on. If the little things annoy you, there is probably a larger issue in the relationship you haven't addressed. These situations smother you to the point you can't stand anything.

In these cases, a conversation is the key to a happier relationship (or the end of it in some cases, which might be the right choice after all).

Soulmates don't exist

There is no ideal partner, obviously. But there can be a partner who meets your needs. The point is to spend time with a person that means something to you and as you do you lift them up. The point is to try to become a better person and help your partner become a better version of themselves, too. If you've succeeded, you might have found the perfect match.

There's a beauty in accepting and loving the flaws of your loved one and knowing that you could wake up beside them every day for many years to come. There's a serenity in the silence that falls between you when no one has anything to say.

I believe that if you have these things, they are more than enough to stop looking for a soulmate.