Just like in writing, in real life, people belong in one of these large groups: plotters and pansters. Pansters don't know where they want to end up in 3, 5, 10 years. They make decisions as they go. Always according to the situation they are at the moment. Plotters, on the other hand, plan every detail of their life, and know exactly where they want to be in 10, 20, 50 years.
I'm a panster when it comes to writing, but a plotter, when it comes to my life. I haven't figured out how this works, but that's how it is. I cannot plot a storyline from start to finish before I write, because my characters don't abide; it seems they have a will of their own most of the time. So I listen to my characters and write the story they show me, not the one I want to tell.
When it comes to life, though, I'm incredibly anxious when I don't have a plan. I make plans for everything. I plan literally everything. I'm flexible and I adapt to change, and I come back to my plan every now and again to make sure it is updated and my life is on the same page as my planner. But I need it to feel some safety. If the plan is non-existent or vague, I feel as if I have no idea what I'm doing in my life. It feels like sky-diving without a parachute.
I plan my writing, my PhD, my external projects, my work out, my meals, even when and how I'm going to clean the apartment. I have an extended planner, which consists of small planners. And sometimes, when I journal, I write my thoughts on how I'm going to plan something before I get to the planning itself. It's insane, I know. But I feel secure that way. I like to know what smaller tasks will lead to the bigger goal. I like to know the steps I have to take to get where I want to go.
Of course, life doesn't always go as planned. But I'm not here to blame everything on life. Life is not at fault about anything. It's just something that happens to all of us. It's something we all have, even though we don't know why.
So after this unnecessarily long intro, here are the things I do when things don't go as planned. If you find yourself stuck right now, like I was a couple of months ago, I hope these steps help you move forward.
Breathe
There's is nothing wrong with staying behind. If you're 30 and expected to have landed your dream job by now and you haven't, that's okay. Everyone has their own pace. Be patient, breathe, and trust your ability to get where you want to be. It is okay to be left behind and it is okay to be lost. This is a journey.
Be flexible
Understand that a plan is not permanent nor irreversible. You could always go back and change it. If you get to the point where your plan is no longer feasible, be flexible and make the changes you need to make in order to adapt to the new existing situation.
Assess
Assess your plan and assess your life. Why didn't the plan work? Is there something else that needs to be done first? Perhaps there's a project you've been procrastinating on that needs to get out of the way before you can achieve your dream.
Most of the time we plan based on our wildest dreams. We set high expectations, making our plans anything but realistic. Perhaps this thing we want to build is supposed to take longer than we anticipated.
Take your time
Consider all the things you've learned so far through this journey. You may not be where you want to be, but I'm sure there's something you must have acquired trying to reach there. Take your time to understand all the things you've learned and apply them in your day-to-day life.
Plan again
Now that you know what went wrong, and you've reevaluated your expectations, it is time to plan again. Be lenient, be flexible and plan, plan, plan. Remember to add plenty of buffer time in your planners, as well as time for what makes you happy.
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