Since I moved last month, I decided to dedicate December on all the things I've learned related to homes and moving. Starting with living on my own, to moving a lot, to living in a big city, and finally, to living with my significant other.
Moving into my own apartment at 18 was, inarguably, the most important thing I ever did for myself. As of 2019, I had been living alone for 7 years. I have learned so many things, which I will share with you just about now.
1. Aim for less surfaces
The most shocking aspect of living on my own was realizing just how many things inside the house needed cleaning. Surfaces I had never even considered before taking care of my own home. There are plenty of surfaces you just don't notice when you live with your parents. Like those old layered heaters, for instance, walls, or the wall trim that gets dusty and you start to wonder why the hell does it even exist? So make sure you don't fill your space with unnecessary surfaces you'll later have to clean.
2. You have to be your own mom
Living alone means you have to teach yourself to go to bed early and wake up on time. You have to prepare your own meals and clean your space. And to some, that comes naturally. Others learn through trial and error.
3. Cooking is the most enjoyable and relaxing thing humans have invented
I don't know about you, guys, but cooking is one of my favorite things to do. I had never had the chance to explore in the kitchen when I used to live with my parents. And after I turned 18, I would pay them a visit once a day to have a meal with them and maybe pack next day's lunch, too. That was until I tried cooking for the first time. I had invited friends over for my birthday and I tried some things. And then a few days later I tried again. And again. I enjoyed cooking so much I can't wait to finish all my obligations and head to the kitchen every day as the sun goes down. I put a podcast on and start cooking. I try new recipes once and then make them my own by twisting the ingredients a bit.
4. Save money in the beginning of the month, not the end
One thing you cannot miss when you live alone is money management. I've known people in their late thirties who have never considered putting money aside. It always comes as a shock to me, since I have always put my money aside in the beginning of the month and live off of the remaining money for the rest of the month. Of course, bills should be your top priority, but so should your savings. Independence comes with responsibilities and taking care of your future self is the most responsible thing you could do as an adult.
5. You discover yourself
Staying up until 4am on my piano to write a song, or to paint a mountain for the first time as if I had a clue or being punctual on my acting classes and taking online ballet classes at 1am from Russia and trying to learn Egyptian Arabic online. These are a few things I did as I sat alone in my apartment, which showed me exactly who I was. I believe I would have never discovered some of the things I like to call hobbies if I were to be in the same house with other people (parents, roommates, significant other). Take the time to explore and discover who you are.
6. You are not who you think you are
My parents kept telling me I could do anything I wanted once I hit that 18-year-old mark. And in my mind I always thought that meant spending the night out with friends. I thought I wanted to go for drinks and I thought I wanted to have many friends. I tried that in the beginning. And then I realized that lifestyle didn't suit me. I enjoy spending time with myself at 5am, when the world is asleep, and going to bed at 10 pm is my favorite thing to do. I love staying in and read or write, and I love going to museums and the theater. Maybe if my parents had let me try out new things more often, I would already know that by 18, but what can I say. I found myself at 25 (through trial and error).
7. Sometimes you are exactly who you think you are
As a child, cleaning my room was bad enough. But making my bed was the worst. I don't know how to make my bed. At 19 I forced myself to make my bed every morning, until I just ended up throwing a blanket over it and decided that was it. I've never made my bed since. I've come to terms with the fact that I don't know how to make my bed and I'm also glad I now live with someone who gets up later and I don't have to make the bed anymore.
8. You appreciate minimalism
Having surfaces to clean, items to store and stuff visually cluttering your space when all you're trying to do is relax after a tiring day, you come to realize that maybe you have more stuff than you actually need or use. I only purchase items that I can't live without and have stopped buying things I know I'll only use a couple of times. Less is more.
9. Second hand is your friend
At 18, most of the things I owned were handed down to me by my parents. Last year, I moved into a totally empty apartment and had to fill it with furniture all by myself. Of course, I had a tight budget, and aimed for second-hand mostly. Some stuff I brought with me from my previous home, the rest I left to my sister who moved in after I left. Some furniture came (again) from my parents, other from friends who weren't using them anymore. And I only ended up buying a couple of curtains, two lamps, a shoe cabinet and some closet organizers. Living on second-hand clothing, second-hand furniture didn't seem strange to me. And it's astonishing how I managed to make everything match. Just because something is used, it doesn't mean it's not in a good condition and it can't be pretty. You always have the option to DIY flip it (did that, too).
Lately, I've been teaching myself to aim for second-hand books, but that's challenging since I live in Greece and I read in English (mostly).
10. You appreciate your parents more
Sometimes we get caught up in the moment and we can't see the bigger picture. We realize we don't know who our parents are as people, as humans in a society, as friends, because all we've known is they're our parents. Moving out of your parents' place helps you look at your family from a distance. Spending the first years of adulthood on my own opened my eyes in many different ways. And after all those years, looking back, I know now I appreciate my parents more than ever before.
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