I've been talking about the importance of saying NO for so long, and yet I keep finding myself with more tasks than I can handle. I started to wonder whether I was a people pleaser. Or just plain uncertain about my ability to manage my time. Saying yes to everything, or just accepting everything thrown my way with no resistance took a toll on my overall health last year and, of course, my self-doubt sky-rocketed.
I spent my entire summer practicing my saying "no", so when the time came I'd be ready. A couple of weeks ago, when I was asked to help in a project I am not a part of, I almost said "okay". And then I remembered I'm not supposed to do that. Lol. So the next thing I asked them was "when is this due?" and the answer I got shocked me: TODAY.
I was supposed to stop everything I was doing to help someone I didn't know with a project I know nothing about. I was surprised at how smoothly the words flew out through my keyboard when I replied, "I'm sorry, I won't be able to help."
It turned out everything was okay and no one was disappointed at me for not helping. So not only did I manage to stay on schedule with my own stuff, but I also learned a valuable lesson: Nobody cares. It turned out they could easily find someone else to do it, so my help was replaceable. I had nothing to gain from the experience and I would have stayed behind on the other things I had to do that day.
It's amazing how a simple "no" could change the way you look at your work and other people. Realizing that I'm replaceable took off all the burden of having to please my advisors. I also managed to get things done, and found peace within myself. Saying "no" to one thing led to saying "yes" to other things.
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