In 2023 I accomplished a great milestone in my little life by completing my PhD!
Overall, it was a calm year, and I learned a great deal about myself.
Firstly, I established what a major nerd I am. And I can finally say that proudly as I'm nearing my 30th birthday.
I didn't create as many blog posts as I wanted and my online presence overall lacked consistency. However, I came to realize that I'm not consistent because I doubt myself a lot, and not because of lack of discipline. I kept thinking that no one wants to read my posts, and those who want to are going to hate them anyway, so why try at all? These inner demons are probably wrong but even if they aren’t, so what? I shouldn’t depend on what other people-strangers per se-might think or not think about me.
I also realized that going slow is okay as long as I don't stop. Progress is what matters, not perfection. A little step forward each day is a long distance travelled at the end of the year. I could never have written my PhD thesis or my new book project in one sitting. I had to work at it in bits and pieces for months.
Some days are better than others; on some days the writing flows effortlessly. In the gloomy days, though, when everything was wrong and nothing made sense, I knew I had to persist. Persistence is what got me to the finish line. I kept reminding myself daily that I was enough. That I can do it. That it will be worth it in the end. Even on those gloomy days, when it felt like the world was falling apart, I was still enough. A sprinkle of self-love does wonders.
When I finished my PhD, I felt lost, without any purpose, even though I was fully committed to my new book projects. But I knew I was going to get out of it sooner than later. And I came to realize that feeling aimless and adrift is okay after five years of intense hassle and working without breaks.
So, in 2023, I found out how resilient, strong, and disciplined I am. And I know now I can do anything if I set my mind to it.
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