Sometimes I wonder how we got to this point: accumulating things and tasks until we're drowning in things we own and things we have to do. It's possible that most of these things are things we don't even need in our lives. We don't need them to survive; we accumulate clutter in our space and in our minds and it's making us miserable. All this hoarding, even when we don't think we're hoarding, has a negative impact on our mental health, so I'd like to discuss ways to untangle ourselves out of our misery. By simplifying our lives.
Today I'd like to focus on how we can simplify our lives. Simplifying our lives comes with the burden of getting rid of things and perhaps also disappointing a handful of people.
The first step to achieve a simpler life is to figure out what you want. Of course, this might change as you change over the years, but you can always update your wants. Knowing what you want stems from knowing who you are. So before we could speak about what fulfills you, you should sit down with yourself and figure out exactly who you are. Not as a student, expert in your field, or in relation to other people. None of these things defines you.
The question of who I am pops up a lot and it's been troubling me my entire life. I've been lucky in the sense that I've spend many years living alone, figuring out who I am, so I have a solid sense of self, but there are still so many things to unravel about myself, that it will probably take me my whole life just to answer that question. Who am I?
Who are you? Knowing who you are and what you want from your life - I'm talking big picture here - can help you assess the state you are right now. For instance, in my life, right now, I want to finish my PhD, while being stress free, healthy, and close to the people that matter to me. In a bigger scale, I want a quiet life. A simple, loving, peaceful existence. I want to go about my days intentionally, with clarity.
Knowing what you want automatically paves the way for recognizing the important things. Since a healthy, quiet, stress-free living is one I go after, it makes sense that I find time for myself (important) and avoid binge drinking with friends on the weekend and staying up all night (not important). Being intentional with my days means I should be mindfully doing things that will bring me closer to my goal of finishing my PhD, instead of mindlessly doing what other people expect of me.
Of course, recognizing who we are, what we want, and what's important to us is only the first step to simplifying our lives. And knowing yourself in a noisy, distracted world is tough. But I bet the next step is more difficult: Get rid of everything that doesn't satisfy the big picture. Even if that means you have to let down other people. But keep in mind that you can never let anyone else down more than you can let yourself down.
My part-time jobs, for instance, didn't serve me in my goal of finishing my PhD, so I had to remove them from my life. But I was lucky to have received a scholarship that covers my financial needs and I was able to leave the job. If I hadn't had the scholarship, I would need the money, and obviously my PhD wouldn't have been my topmost priority, just like it wasn't before I got the scholarship; earning money and putting food on the table was my priority then. So, I understand eliminating something is not always feasible. But how about minimizing them?
As I mentioned earlier, health is important to me, and a large part of being healthy (physically and mentally) comes from my diet and exercise (others include sleep, stress reduction, being around loving people). But let's take healthy eating for the sake of this example. Cooking every single day is time-consuming and no matter how much I enjoy creating colorful and nutritious meals, at some point or other, cooking every single day can become boring, or even impossible, like on those days I have a migraine. But to be honest, there's no other way of knowing what you're consuming unless you're preparing your meals yourself (and don't get me started on food intolerances and all the tiresome conversations I've had with waiters, plus the endless times I've spent checking ingredients on labels). My point is, I couldn't eliminate cooking and preparing food, but I managed to minimize my time in the kitchen by batch-cooking meals in the weekend. I do order takeout, don't get me wrong, I'm human, but I do my best to minimize that, too.
Simplifying your life and throwing out the stuff you don't need (this can also be used for material objects that have no meaningful place in your life) is a slow process. It won't happen overnight. It might take weeks or months to finally get to a point where your life is simple enough that you can now start adding more of the important things. But make sure there is space for them before you add them. You cannot add clothes to a drawer that's already full. You cannot add a hobby to a schedule that is already overflowed.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this blog post and I hope you find something you can apply in your life. I wish you love, light, peace. Cheers.
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