It's incredible how time flies. It feels like yesterday when I celebrated my 20th birthday, and now I'm 27. So many things have changed since then. The world has changed. I have changed. And through change I learned a lot. So today I will list 27 things I learned in my 27 years on this planet. I do not claim to know anything about life. In fact, I know nothing about life, and that's the first thing I've learned.
1. You know nothing.
That is, compared to the information there is out there. We learn as we grow. I believe that the meaning of life is to keep learning, keep evolving in life, in ourselves, in our careers in our relationships. Striving to become better than who we were last year. And one way to learn more is by reading. Not just about the universe or about technology. Read fiction and travel to places you could never go. Meet fictional characters, and let their world bring emotions you may never have in real life. Explore the real world, too, travel, try new foods, talk to strangers. Learn more. Be sceptic. Never believe something because someone else told you so. Seek your own answers.
2. You deserve to be respected.
This is something that wasn't taught to me as a child. I kept hearing that children should respect; respect the elderly, respect teachers, respect your parents. And I thought when I grew up I will be respected, too, it will be my time. Thing is, we deserve to be respected right from the beginning. Our voices should be heard and respected, our bodies, our choices. Nobody should make your decisions for you.
3. Everyone's life is different.
People care about different things in life. What seems to make you happy does not apply to other people and vice versa. Just because other people prioritize something, it doesn't make it your priority, too. Know yourself. Own your decisions. Respect other people' choices. You don't know what they're going through.
4. Release your stress.
The side effects of long-term stress are harmful. If you struggle with anxiety and stress like I do, find ways to release your stress. Be creative, start a blog if you want, spend time with your thoughts, write them down, speak to people, speak to a therapist, do things that make you happy and don't let people convince you you don't need a break.
5. Set boundaries.
Growing up I was taught that saying no is rude. I learned to say yes to everyone, whether I wanted to or not. Don't be a people pleaser. Say no. Set boundaries and let people know you feel uncomfortable or exhausted or perhaps that it is not the right thing for you at the moment. Protect your personal space, protect your career path, protect yourself. Set boundaries.
6. Nobody cares about what you want.
This is the saddest truth of all. You expect people to agree with you and support you. They usually don't. Every one is going through a journey in their life and there is so much going on in a single mind, you can't expect people to care about you. Some people will. But most of them won't.
7. Remove toxicity from your life.
Sadly, the moment you realize you're in a toxic environment, it is too late. A toxic relationship, a toxic job, they don't let you know right from the beginning. But be alert and watch for the signs. If you think your friend is toxic, stop seeing them. It ain't always easy, but it's a decision that needs to be made the moment you realize it.
8. Don't blame your parents.
Even though you might not agree on everything, your parents love you and every decision they've ever made for you when you were young was for your own good. That's what they believe. Have you always wanted to play hokey but they decided it was better you learned Russian? They only did it because they thought it would give you more opportunities. Now that you know learning Russian didn't help you at all in landing your dream job, you are responsible for not playing hokey. Does this make sense?
9. Hold the line, love isn't always on time.
My favorite lesson in life is that of love. It's because I've always dismissed it as something not real. Something that won't happen to me. When love came knocking my door I didn't see it for what it was. I always believed it would all crumble before my eyes and I'll be back to ground zero, vowing to be a bachelorette forever. It took me months to admit to myself that I was in love and much more than that to finally tell him. There is nothing more sacred than knowing you have a person with whom you could feel safe and share everything.
10. There is no good or bad.
Morality is subjective. It's more of a gray scale, where nothing is certain or absolute. Different people stand on different moral grounds.
11. Cherish your relationships and let people go when it's time.
It is important to realize that all your relationships have shaped you and taught you something. Relationships don't teach you about other people, they teach about certain people. And most of all they teach you about yourself. Just because a girl did you wrong, doesn't mean all girls are as bad. It only means this girl wasn't for you. And now you know how you react in such situations. Let people know how you feel, and when its time, let them go. You shouldn't be with someone if you don't want to, and you shouldn't want someone to be with you if they don't want to. Be honest. Let them go. With grace.
12. Don't lie to yourself.
I'm a hundred percent guilty of this. It took me years to face myself and have an honest conversation about who I am and what I want. Just because you have an ongoing narrative inside your head since you were little that "you will do this in life" doesn't mean you have to go through with it. Be honest to yourself and understand if the path you've chosen is the path you wanted or the path someone else paved for you.
13. Don't be grumpy.
If you don't like something in your life, take steps toward changing it. If it is something out of your control, let it go. If you don't like your boyfriend, let them go. If you don't like your bedroom, change it. If you don't like your neighborhood, then move. If you can't live somewhere else, what's the point of being grumpy about it? Learn the difference between what you can and can't change and take actions. You can change your situation. You can't change people. Just don't be grumpy.
14. Choose your friends wisely.
Your friends can make or break you, so it is important to recognize that quality matters over quantity. I have a handful of friends I trust who support me and are happy when I'm happy. And I'm happy when they're happy.
15. Ask for help when you need it.
You are not alone in life. We may all have different journeys, but that doesn't mean we have to walk our paths on our own. We know nothing and we constantly learn new things. We are not expected to solve all of the problems in the world - in fact, we are not expected to solve anything. This is just a journey. We learn as we go. Don't be afraid to ask for help.
16. Less is more.
I won't list all the reasons why minimalism is right for me, it might not be for everyone. I just learned that we usually have more things than we need, and at the same time there are people out there who don't have enough. If we just take a moment to recognize all the things we take for granted and how lucky we've been, it will make a huge difference. Once I realized that I don't need more than I actually need, it was a life-changer for me. There's no going back. Less is more. Be grateful. Be generous.
17. Set your priorities.
If you don't know your priorities someone else will set them for you. For me it's career, health, home, relationships.
18. Be healthy.
Although seemingly obvious, I don't believe people actually follow through with this one. I know people who claim to follow a healthy diet and exercise daily and have never had any health issue ever, yet they smoke like a chimney. I'm not here to judge anyone (unless you're blowing your filthy cigarettes' smoke in my face). I'm just saying, that there is nothing that matters most than your health, and you should never, under no circumstances, compromise that. There will be people who'll tell you that working is more important than eating healthy and exercising and resting. There will be people who'll tell you that staying up late and getting drunk night after night is better. No. Just no. Don't listen to them. Take care of yourself. Take care of your body, and your mental health. Cut off addictions if you can, and if you can't, seek help. Release your stress, take breaks, find balance. Take what's prescribed, get vaccinated and don't postpone your check ups.
19. The key to success is the combination of good focus and energy.
If you master these two, you can do anything. But of course, it all comes down to good health. Physical and mental.
20. Embrace the changes.
Most of the time changes come in spite of your plans. Like a pandemic, for instance. You can't control it, you can't change it, so don't be grumpy or rebellious without a cause. Embrace it.
21. Find your freedom.
Is there something you love to do? A hobby? A dream job? Do more of that. Make your days matter and live with intentionality. If you don't have a passion, then find it. Spend a whole year looking for what you're passionate about if you have to. Just find it and let it set you free. For me that's writing. Writing sets me free.
22. Know your finances.
This is something they don't teach at school and they should. Although, I'm sure this would be the most boring class and no one would care to participate actively. It's okay if you spend your money, money is meant to be spent. I mean, that's the point of it. Just don't overspend, and don't go into debt if you could avoid it. More concerts, more clothes, more food, more books? Okay, just know exactly where you spend it and own it. It's also important to save and invest. Just saying.
23. Forgive yourself.
I'm harder on myself than I am on other people, so I won't talk about forgiving others since that's obvious to me. I'd like to believe I'm not the only one who lays awake at night thinking about something I said ten years ago. Very often I would remember something that happened in the past and I would toss and turn until I could no longer stand myself. You don't want that. If it's something your can change, then change it. If you can't it only messes with your head and you need to forgive yourself and let go.
24. Mornings matter.
It was only last year that I realized how important it is to have a morning routine. And I don't just mean breakfast and such. It is more about doing things for yourself before you have to do things for other people. If you have a demanding job, or kids, perhaps a couple of hours in the morning are all you need to relax and set you intention for the day.
25. You can do everything, just not at the same time.
You are capable of doing a lot of things. If you decide you want something, I bet you can get it. You can have multiple interests. You can do many things. Just not at the same time.
26. Listen to your body.
A very important lesson everyone has to learn. Every body is different and you need to learn to listen to it. You'd be amazed at how many things your body tells you about. Are you tired? Anxious? Intolerant? Sick?
27. Live as if you know you'll die.
I think by now we all know we are going to die one day. We don't live forever. However we act as if we're immortals. Bad habits. Lack of discipline. Someday I'll have the time and recourses to start... We're all guilty of these things, but just remember that someday is not a day of the week. Take care of yourself and take actions toward the life you want. Most people don't question their lives and I don't get it. You have to be intentional to make your days matter.
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